For my last journal entry, I want to clarify that I do not intend to kill myself. I was remarking on death seemed like a better option than dealing with the coming crisis. I'm sorry if I scared anyone. I'm scared myself, but I'm not that selfish. When I wrote the journal entry, I was in the grips of a massive panic attack, which I am having small ones here and there (cured by alcohol and extreme gaming). I appreciate the support, and I feel ashamed to have not clarified the issue. I'm having a tough time--the past 6 months living in a new state has put me on a pretty high plateau of cheerful optimism, and the other night I fell pretty hard into reality. I'm not sure when things will get better, but my art is the farthest thing from my mind right now. I feel terrible about it, but as I scramble to support my family, that's how life is. I'll update when new information becomes available.